(Photo: Nina Westervelt/The New York Times)
It’s a good day to be a fashionista as the Met Gala offered a stunning display of experimental cloth. This year, the theme was “American Independence.” Attendees strutted their stuff as if to say that if democracy was to survive in these days of tumult, we would have to dress our way out of it, with style, with attitude. As per usual, there was plenty of controversy as some people made targeted critiques of our society while actively participating in said society. How dare they. Most notable amongst the bunch was Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who wore a wedding dress that said TAX THE RICH. The dress was designed by Aurora James.
“How hypocritical of her,” said several as their mustaches curled up in sync with their cheek-to-cheek closed-mouth smiles. Detractors of AOC and her dress point out that this event is for the rich, hosted by the rich. Detractors of AOC and her dress point out how much her dress must have cost her. Detractors of AOC and her dress point out that a ticket for the Met Gala costs $35,000. Detractors of AOC and her dress, however, never seem to point out that Ocasio-Cortez has a platform and is inclined to use it. Detractors of AOC and her dress seem willfully ignorant that many of the people invited to the Met Gala have their attendance fees paid for them. Detractors of AOC and her dress fail to realize that it’s the fucking Met Gala, and if you were invited to the Met Gala, you would also go. It is funny, perhaps, that Ocasio-Cortez was wearing this around so many rich people without any of them taking offense. The dress came out of the event unscathed, and without anyone “accidentally” spilling wine on it.
(Photo: Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images North America)
On the other hand, Cara Delevingne attempted to make a statement in a bulletproof vest that read “PEG THE PATRIARCHY.” Delevingne was quoted as saying about the outfit, “it’s about women empowerment.”
Is it? Or is it a homophobic cheap shot rooted in the same patriarchy that she is urging, through her wear, that should be fucked? I hardly imagine she was saying “peg the patriarchy” with the intent of giving it a good time. To say to peg the patriarchy is to say to put it in its place. To make it less than. But pegging is not an activity that reduces those who participate in it, specifically those on the bottom. In fact, as long as it is done safely, it can be a boon to the sex lives of many. In attempting to shoot an arrow at an institution that has historically marginalized so many, she wound up missing with her shot and hitting some of those very marginalized folks right in the back.
OTHER NEWS AND NOTES
The National Symposium on Patriotic Education this year has as its keynote speakers: Mike Pence, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, and Ben Carson. The slogan for this year's NSPE is “Arbeit Macht Frei.”
According to Aviro Health, manufacturers of Betadine, there is no proof that the topical disinfectant does anything to prevent or mitigate the effects of COVID-19. In fairness, at least we’ve gone from injecting bleach, to doing whatever it is you do with a horse dewormer, to simply gargling a topical disinfectant. Baby steps, people. We’re getting there.
Employers might soon have to disclose the salaries of their employees, which should make for a more equitable workplace. According to our source, “looks like drinks are on you, Greg.”
Nicki Minaj claims to have been blocked on Twitter after tweeting that a friend of her cousin told some guy who told somebody else that he got the COVID vaccine and his balls shrank. Hey buddy, that happens to me every time I jump into the pool, but that’s not going to stop me from jumping into pools.
Here’s the best response you're going to see to her wild claim:
It’s the year 2021 and Rick Astley singing The Smiths is way sweeter than Morrisey singing The Smiths. In related news, sales of LSD are down welp I guess it’s because we’re all just tripping anyway, right?